It’s another day! Therefore I deserve another chance to rant. It’s 1:51 AM precisely. Pat on my back for waking up exactly 12 hours ago.
I just stumbled upon the blog of this guy that used to hold ineffable, irrational contempt for me back when I was part-time at the Consulate during my studies. His blatant contempt for me really disturbed me to this day. My natural response, upon the stumbling, was trying to seek out flaws in his blog that I could belittle with just as much intensity to my heart’s content.
Much to my consternation, his blog is full of insights about different cultures and current events. The first few pages on his observation of the American culture was rather humorous and refreshing. The next few pages on his view on prostitution in Asia was rather feminist.
Aside from the content, his English writing was superb. I didn’t know that before since I always converse in my awkward French with all French speakers, even with those whose English is far superior than my French.
I was a bit perplexed. Someone with so much righteousness and smarts treated me with scorn for no apparent reason. Now when you’re not appreciated by someone like that, you start questioning yourself, your own manners, your own disposition, your own getup, your own personality, your own behaviors, your own appearances, and you bombard a spider web of why why why ’til you drop dead from all the giddiness.
Now this isn’t a post about low self-esteem. What I’d like to point out is the hypocrisy of these righteous people who claim to love humanity, who claim to treat women fairly, who claim to be active in the “stop world hunger!” campaign.
What they say and display are grand and magnanimous. Yet how they treat people around them are completely contrary to the principles they claim to embrace.
I’m one of them. I admit. When I first came to Singapore, I felt scorn for this girl who was fidgeting with her hair while catching her reflection on iPhone. I thought, How pretentious! How vain!
Now that I recently got an iPhone, I gotta admit that it is a wonderful mirror.
I also dismiss the trend of wearing super duper fake long eyelashes and colored circle lenses in Singapore. However, one day I found myself hovering around a contact lens shop, staring at the “natural lenses that make your eyes bigger” ad. Approaching the sales lady with caution, I inquired, “Um…how much are these? I mean I just want to try them out for few times because I’m curious. No no no I don’t need 10 sets. 2 pairs enough. I’m just curious.” There I was emphasizing that I was plain “curious” – a true fact – and not trying to enlarge my eyes in any unnatural way. In the end, after internal debates, I didn’t get these magical lenses.
And what about beauty pageants? Again, I dismiss them big time. I find it just another ostentatious way of objectifying women. The message delivered is clear: to be a queen, you have to have a perfect face and body above all – that’s a prerequisite. Intelligence is desired, but secondary to outward beauty. A good heart is optional.
Fine, I’ve signed up for and participated in a few in the past myself. Who am I to judge? Had I won any title I would’ve been tilting my opinion otherwise, probably glorifying the whole event as something that empowers women (and contributes to world peace)!
I’m a hypocrite, apparently.
When I was in Battambang, Cambodia, I grew so sick on my last day that I had to excuse myself from the dinner table of few new friends that I had just met. Two of them were starting up some non-profit organization in Cambodia to save the orphans.
“I’m so sorry. I really have to go back to the hotel room to rest. I can’t eat any of this.”
“What? You mean you’re not coming back?”
I was met with apathy and skepticism, as if I were sick by choice or pretending to be sick. They could at least pretend to have sympathy. Or were I just too inept at giving credibility to my sudden illness? It wasn’t malaria, I know. It was just some plain old stomach-ache that deserved to be dismissed.
I’m not name calling anyone.
What I am trying to illustrate is that…everyone, each one of us, is a hypocrite, in one way or another.
That no one is truly honest with him/herself. No one is impeccable and divine. Every one of us must’ve offended someone in our life whether or not it was intended. Every one of us holds dear to some grand and noble principles or morals, be it vegetarianism or environmentalism or whatsoever, but none of us is able to act 100% on our beliefs and assertions.
As for that blogger guy, he should probably treat people around him more fairly to do justice to his tirade on injustice.
Make the world a brighter place by tearing down all the facade.